~A Bitter Swallow~

Now, like most kids, some pretty interesting and funny (not to mention many times scary) things have come from the precious lips of my dear children. My daughter most definitely seems to have the more twisted line of thought processes.

Just a couple days ago, my two children, my boyfriend and myself were around our fish tank oogling the appearance of a cute little baby fish. My boyfriend and I were discussing a previous batch of babies that had mysteriously disappeared overnight one night, and our sneaky suspicions of a less-than-treasured shark we have haven eaten them. We then began discussing how he doesn't seem to be growing though. My daughter, being 7 years old, and paying attention at the times you would least expect, tells us in a more-than-I-know-it-all way, "Well DUH.. it's a SHARK!!" , because of course, that is OBVIOUSLY why it must have eaten those cute little babies. Some adults.. (insert shaking of head). She proceeds to ask questions about how big the shark will get. Dustin (my boyfriend) shows her, by demonstrating size against the tank, how big it will get ( estimated at 3 feet). She then gets an evil little grin on her face, licks her lips, and promptly asks most vehemently : "When it's that big, can we EAT it???".... *blink... blink*

So, while you chew that one over, I thought I'd share a couple of her more interesting comments...

(let me set the scene...) I am sitting at my computer desk and my kids are sitting in the living room behind me playing with my daughter's barbies on the coffee table. My daughter -who is about 5 or 6 at this time- is playing the "mommy" doll, and my son- who is about 8 or 9- is playing the "kid" doll. (Now, at this point, I must for my son's sake inject that his beloved sister is the only person that is able to convince him to submit to such doll play. Or any other kind of "girl" play for that matter.) Suddenly, I hear the *mom* exclaim to the *child* : "NO BODY PARTS IN THE LIVING ROOM! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NO BODY PARTS IN THE LIVING ROOM?!?! TAKE THEM OUTSIDE!" The "child" doll pulls the whole "Oh, alright... "
Me- *blink...blink*...*locks bedroom door that night*


Another instance.. again, I am on the computer, and my daughter walks up behind me. "Mom, I bit my lip". She says it calmly.. then she says. "Mom, it's bleeding." I turn around and expect her to freak out.. because she's a 6 year old little girl, and there is blood. Instead.. she starts slurping at her lip.. "Mmmm.... blood is good. I like blood. Blood is yummy." She walks off, still slurping on her lip. I go and hide the knives, and once again lock my bedroom door that night.

My son is pretty low key. Most of his eeriness comes with his play. He is sitting at their table one day playing with his G.I. Joe guys, and his play dough. My boy, at 10, is pretty into the whole army, war, shoot-em-up stuff. So, naturally, he's having a war scene at the table. There is a lot of spittle flying as he gives the sounds effects of rattling gunfire. My boyfriend (not my boyfriend at the time, though) walks over to watch. He let's out something along the lines of "Oh my god... " and tells me I have to come see this, while he runs to grab his camera. I go over, and there is my son's GI Joe, lying sprawled on the table, atop a great gob of red play dough, convincingly spread out to resemble major blood loss from the guy, complete with a dab under his head. That isn't the creepy part. The creepy part is that he was so detailed in his display, that he actual included the splatter from the brain ... "injury". If I remember, and I'm able, when I get home I will find and post that picture. It's... interesting. I wasn't the only one who slept with my door locked that night!

Another time the two of them were playing together: My daughter with her Barbie, my son with his barbie sized GI Joe. Scene of my daughter's Barbie chasing my son's GI Joe.. "I'm a vampire Barbie, and I want to suck your blood!!!!" *insert slurping sounds here*. Then, a few minutes later, both kids, with both dolls, running around slurping the necks of everything exclaiming they are vampires...


So there you have it. Those are some of the things you will see and / or hear from my sweet, adorable, angelic, innocent children. Perhaps the people are right.. maybe they are devil spawn!! That's okay though, I love them anyways. And if nothing else, it definitely keeps us entertained!!