~A Bitter Swallow~

2011 has been one hell of a year for me.  It was not altogether nice.  Between my son telling me he was hearing voices, my daughter going blind and fainting in the shower- causing a 911 call, my own issues with my kidneys,  some pretty serious fights with my boyfriend, and having to go back on state aid- I've had about more stress than I can handle.  It has affected my health.  It's affected my job.  It's affected my overall general state of mind. 

BUT, fortunately I can say that all but one of those has fixed themselves.  We are still having to use state aid to get by, but my son, my daughter, myself, and my relationship with my boyfriend are all fine and going strong.  I am thankful for that. 

I don't feel like I got very much accomplished this past year.  A lot of wants.  A lot of ideas.  A lot of talk.  No doing.  That is the one thing I hope to change with the new year.  More doing.  Like the Home Depot commercials say.  Yeah-  I want that to be me.

Along with doing, I want to simplify.  This is where I hope having to go on state aid helps.  By giving me a kick in the pants and forcing me to stop and reevaluate my surroundings.  Where can I cut back.  Where can I do-it-myself?  What can I do to make my life simpler, healthier, and more satisfying?  How can I do this in a way that will be self-sufficient?  How will it help the environment around me?  Etc etc etc.

I'm planning on really digging in and get my hands dirty this year.  Literally.  I'm going to make that garden bed out there flourish.  I want to build a compost system so I can make use of all those leftovers that make my stomach squirm every time I throw them in the garbage.  I want to plant fruits and veggies so that I can have fresh, healthy food for my family.  Eventually I'd like to get a chicken coop built so I can have a few chickens, too. 

I plan on cooking more at home. With limited funds with which to spend going out, or on frivolous food, we will be forced to sit down and actually think about what we want to eat. We will be more apt to plan menus and actually shop for and prepare what is on them. By doing so, I hope to eat more health-conscious. I am a bit worried about this part, because I've noticed that it seems the more healthy a food- the more expensive it is. But by preparing our meals at home, and utilizing what I'm able to grow in the garden, I hope to have a better idea and control of what I am actually putting into our bodies.

 I want to work on crafting.  I want to make it more of a priority in my day-to-day life.  I am hoping that tomorrow I will be able to get in and nab that table/desk down at the Goodwill to turn into a sewing station.  I already have a few beginner-type projects in mind that, if they turn out right, will become gifts for a pregnant friend of mine.  (Ssshhh... she doesn't know!).   My daughter has gotten very into crafting lately, so I'm hoping that her drive helps push me along, too.  If I am focusing on helping her achieve her goals, then I will help mine by helping her.  =)  Win-win. 

With this in mind, I sat down and compiled a short list of my goals for 2012.  These are not resolutions.  I always fail at those.  They are just goals I've set, and I hope to have them all finished by this time next year. 

1.  Build that composter system.
2.  Finish writing Bone & Silver.
3.  Blog on each of my websites at least once a week.
4.  Do some sort of craft once a week.  Even if it's working on an ongoing project-  do something!
5.  Visit Mount Saint Helens with the kids.
6.  Visit Mount Rainier with the kids.
7.  Start using my sewing machine.
8.  Make my own soap.
9.  Learn to knit &/or crochet.
10. Cook and eat at home most of the time.
11. Eat less processed food.
12. Grow my garden and eat it!

Today is New Year's Eve. We don't have anything big planned. New Year's is not really a big deal for me, as I view the start of the new year in Spring. However, we are having a couple of the kids' friends over. Maybe we'll start a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmellows and smores. Pop in a movie or two, play some Playstation and/or Wii games. I prefer the mellow, stay indoors and hang night for New Years. Start the year simple and maybe it will stay that way?

I hope all of you have a grand time tonight, no matter how you choose to spend it. And if it didn't go how you would have chosen, I hope it turned out better than you would have gotten. Stay happy. Stay safe.

Christmas has come and gone. It passed in a flurry this year, mixed within the whirlwind and chaos of moving and unpacking. The Wednesday prior to Christmas Day, Dustin and I drove down to Oregon to visit with his family. I had been scheduled to work until 8pm that evening, and we were dreading having to make that 6-hour drive through the mountain passes during the darkest hours of night. However, I awoke Wednesday to a, let's just say "less-than-agreeable" stomach. Enough so, that I had to call in sick. Dustin was at work when I decided to call out for the day. When I let him know what was going on, he was thrilled. Yes, I said he was thrilled that I was ill. But only because that meant we could leave early. So, I got the kids up and ready, we dropped them off, and headed out.

When we were almost there, we hit a deer. Poor thing. A family of them were right in the middle of the road when we came around the corner. There was ice on the road, and nothing Dustin could do, other than slam us into the hill on the left, or off the ridge on the right. It died quickly, at least. A car that came by shortly afterwards made sure we were aware that in that state, you could keep what you hit. We were pretty sure they were going to claim it for themselves, but it was still there the next day, according to Dustin's sister.

We got to his family's house around 8pm. While I was feeling craptastic, I was still okay enough to be able to hang out and chitchat. The town was a bit on the cold-shoulder side this time around, but we were there for his family, and they were great as always, and that is what counts.

Friday morning we headed home, and made good time. No deer were hit in the driving of this route, but I did get to drive through the passes in the snow. That was nerve-wracking!

We picked the kids up, and we spent Christmas morning at home. Then we made the rounds playing Santa and dropping off gifts to various friends. That afternoon/evening we spent with my family. My kids made out like bandits, as they always do. This coming Saturday (New Years Day) I plan to take them shopping so they can go spend their loot.

Now it's back to reality as usual. I've come to the conclusion that the two most stressful months of the year for me are November and January. November, when it dawns on me that Christmas is just around the corner, and I haven't even thought about shopping yet, and January when it dawns on me just how much money I blew through in December! I suppose I should start setting up a Nov/Jan fund, to relieve some of that stress? LOL

New Years
It's that time of year for new resolutions. Okay, it's a little past that time, but I've been lazy busy. Okay... I've been lazy. I was looking over what I'd written last year. All those things I had planned on doing. Some I did, some I tried, some I didn't even attempt other than thinking about it.

I've been writing more, even if it's mostly blogging rather than actual storytelling. But it's more than nothing. I've been reading more, which is fantastic. New stuff and old alike. While my vocabulary isn't necessarily broader, I'm still getting those daily words with which to cram my head with. I have been cooking in more, but not necessarily eating out less. However, I have been trying to make more health-consious decisions when eating out, as well as when cooking at home. I was exercising more, but got discouraged when I wasn't seeing results. I tried, hard, alot... and got nothing. So, now I have to try again. I planted my garden, and tried to keep it tended, but between my brown thumb, the rabbits, and the slugs- it died. I got my son in karate (which he still loves). I got my daughter into choir for awhile, but she doesn't want to do any after school activites (I'll find something eventually!). The kids' dental work is either done, or doing. I got medical insurance. I've been drinking more water.

So- that is 2009 in a nutshell. At least, based off my resolutions for that year. I got maybe half accomplished, and I think that's pretty good. There are some I really wish I'd taken more time to do, but they will be in this years, and maybe this will be thier year. That said- here are some of the things I'd like to get done this year:


1. Write more. I had this last year, but I want to focus more on my stories, not only on my blog. I don't want to spend less time on my blog- just more on the stories.

2. Learn how to use my sewing machine. I would really like to learn how to make some of those clothes, purses, etc that I have the patterns and fabric for in there! All I need is the know-how!

3. Continue to cook more at home, and cook healthy meals.

4. Learn how to shop efficiently for healthy food and snacks.

5. Make it a habit to eat breakfast, and choose (and bring) healthy snacks throughout the day.

6. Exercise! Exercise! Exercise! And not be discouraged if I don't "see" results. Let my body tell me how it's doing, maybe not visually, but internally.

7. Find some new parks. The ones I know of in the area have become dull to me, and even my kids. Time to move on to new and fresh.

8. Find some good hiking trails, and use them; get us all out there, breathing in that fresh air!

9. Go camping. I cannot remember the last time I went, and I miss it.

10. Go out with my family at least once a month. By family, I mean my brother and sisters, and mom and dad. We don't spend as much time together as we use to since I quit partying. I need to have them for dinner, or whatever.

11. Start actually doing all those crafts I bought all the supplies for.

12. Learn how to make more natural, enviornmental friendly products for cleaning, both the house and our bodies.

13. Go see some live music. This shouldn't be as difficult as it's been for me. I know there's live music around here- I am just horrible about finding it.

14. Get the animals to the vet. This is one of those ones that really should have been done last year, but wasn't.

15. Figure out what is going wrong in my son's Language Arts class, and help him rememdy it.

16. Help my daughter understand this math stuff.

17. Give a garden another shot, but read up on it more instead of just jumping in.

18. Model more for Dustin.

19. Get the shed cleaned out, gone through, and organized.

20. Get the boxes in my bedroom cleaned out, gone through, and reorganized.