It's becoming crunch-time for moving. I have decided to move in with some friends for the time being. They were generous enough to offer, and I swallowed my pride enough to accept. I go get the storage unit today, and next Saturday we'll be renting a U-Haul and moving everything we're keeping into it. It just feels like the right decision for now. I will be able to pay down my credit cards, and get myself into a better financial situation while figuring out where to settle.
As for settling (down) with a place of my own (purchasing)- it appears that won't be happening for awhile. I met with a lender, and we went over my income, my debt, my credit, etc... My credit is actually pretty good. If not for the amount of the debt it would actually be pretty awesome. So what is the issue? My income. I don't MAKE enough money to qualify for the amount I would need to find a place that I would actually want to buy. Even if I were to be completely debt free, my loan amount would still be about $50,000 less than I'd be wanting. Maybe I just really need to lower my standards, but that feels.... wrong. I don't know.
I did some spell-work a couple of months ago, and damn if it isn't manifesting in the most aggressive of ways. It's like "okay bitch- you want this, you asked for it, so we're going to MAKE it happen". LOL /sigh. I've been wanting to purge my shit. I've been wanting to look into buying a house. I've been wanting to figure out what to do with my career. Apparently those decisions are being brought right up front and center, and I'm being forced to deal with them. No more "dealing with it later".
It's a lot though. I have so much to think about. After the move I will need to sit down and really look at my life, and consider my future, and decide what it is that I really want. Not the physical things per se, but where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing? How do I want to live? And then what will it take for me to get there? I suppose that will be one more benefit of staying with friends- if I am not worrying constantly about money, it will free up space in my brain to breathe and really delve into this.
2020 is apparently going to be a year of significant change. Significant thought. Action and introspection. Accepting help. Pushing boundaries even further. It will be a year of shedding and growth.
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