~A Bitter Swallow~

I was going through the books being checked in today, looking for loose, forgotten items used as bookmarks, markings in the book, etc.. and came across one that had a dedication in it. It was donated to the library in remembrance of a loved one that had passed on. I looked closer, and realized that the dates given marked this loved one as still a child. It brought upon a deep feeling of mixed sorrow. The wretched kind from losing one's darling baby (I have two myself, but still cannot even imagine), and also the happy kind that comes with having something that helps you remember, and makes you smile at those memories.

The book made me think of my own youth, when my troop of friends and I would wander through the graveyards to hang out in the peaceful quietness. There was something soothing about the place. We always made our way toward where there was a remarkable amount of gravestones with dates that spanned a disquieting few amount of years. Like all teens that age, we were a obstreperous bunch, laughing and playing our way through. However, without warning or prompting, the whole of us would be overcome by a hush as we passed into that area of the young spirits. A sort of reverence for those who did not make it as long as we had, and a deep respect for them. We would tell each other stories of these children- happy stories of perserverance and love, and of those left behind who still mourn the happy memories of their lost child.

To this day I do not view graveyards as a place of spooky scariness, but rather a place to rest and relax in the quiet. They have always brought upon a feeling of peace and stillness in an otherwise crazy world. I still find myself wandering, looking through the names and the dates, and finding those of the children. Those souls whose journey ended sooner than we would like to think possible. And I always find myself stopping at them, wondering about them and their lives, and what possibly could have brought them to this place in the dirt. How were their lives, their personalities, their deaths?

Oh, and that book with the dedication? It was "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. A proper and fitting title, don't you think?