~A Bitter Swallow~

It's been a few days since I've posted on here, so I figured I should give it some of my time and attention. Most of that has been going to my website lately, where I've had a few stories being gurgled out. I say gurgled, because they are coming slowly. Perhaps oozing would be a proper description. And it seems that every time I get going on one, I have a dream, and that spurs another that pushes it's way to the forefront and demands to be given it's time in my limelight.

I'm a little disheartened at the moment. I have sent out messages and emails to friends and family asking for feedback, yet I have gotten not a single comment from anyone other than my boyfriend. And he has to live with me, so you know how that goes... I am not looking for prime time editing. Just regular people giving their opinions on it, since they are the people the stories are geared for. I guess people just aren't as interested in reading as I am. Granted, I don't read as much as I use to, but I jump at opportunities to read what others around me have in their minds. I read their blogs, their poetry, their bulletins and ranting and raving.

Anyways.. last week I was sick. Sick enough to call into work. I got Thursday off, and Friday as a precautionary. I wound up needing it, so I'm glad my boss told me to stay home. But I discovered that I got a lot of writing done in those days. A lot for me anyway. They are no masterpieces by far, but a couple chapters on each one. And plots and outlines written up in my head for future reference.

OK, time is a wasting here, and I've given this part of my literary creativity (*eye roll*) enough of it for now.

Oh, by the way, if you are interested in how my September clean up is going.. it's horribly laughable. Maybe that will be my topic next time.

The other night I was lying in bed trying to sleep, and -as usual- my mind began to wander and ponder on various things. Somehow, it found it's way to contemplating "what contributes to evolution?". When does the universe decide it is time, and how does it happen. And where does all of this fit in to my belief patterns? How do you combine spirituality and science?

Well, it turns out I had something of an epiphany. In my mind at least. I do not know who reads this, so I don't know how much you -the reader- know about me. To give you a little background, I am pagan in my belief structure. No- I am not Wiccan. And a big hell-no! I am NOT Satanic! I don't even believe in Satan.. LOL. But this is not a debate on belief systems. This is about where my little brain went in it's search for evolution answers.

In my belief, the universe as we know it - our little Milky Way - (yes, I like using - ) was created by an entity I refer to as the Great Mother. Whether it was on purpose or not, who knows. Where She came from, I have no idea. I am okay with knowing that there are some things out there that are just way to much for my little human brain to comprehend. Anyway, in analysing this new system that She created, she decided the best way to learn about it was to experience it. So She broke herself into millions upon millions of little pieces, and sent them to this new world. Each pieces job was to learn as much as possible about this new environment. Who is to say how these pieces arrived. I like to think that they first came about as elements. The forces behind the powers we take for granted now- Earth, Air, Fire, Water... I believe these entities to still exist in their original state. Gods and/or Goddesses in their own right, beneath but still a part of the Great Mother. From that, came the first vestiges of life. Bacteria, algae, whatever ... I did not study that closely in science class, but I am sure you know what I mean.

This is where my brain suddenly had it's light bulb lit, and a new revelation came to me. What happens when an organism as a whole- not individual- learns all there is to know? Well, how about evolve? It mutates and changes to incorporate new unlearned and unvisited areas of being. That would also be why we have so many variety of life forms. Each has a job of absorbing everything there is to know about that life form. All of it. And once there are enough of those pieces that have learned everything, existence gets an upgrade, and a new being is created.

Are humans the last? Hardly. I do not believe so. I do think that we are one of the species that could very well put ourselves out of existence completely the way the do-do bird did, by becoming too vain in our ability. Perhaps it will be that which comes from our completion that will fix what we have done.

So, here it is, day 2 of my month long journey into self-help ( or at least getting the house cleaned up ), and so far I've killed myself. Including this post here, I will have accomplished 3 items of my weekly to-do list.
Yesterday, I had to go down to the library, empty out and process the book drop. By the time I got there - I think it was about 1:30 or 2 in the afternoon - books were already falling out into the box around the bin that sits inside the bookdrops. So we had walked down to the library, I got my work done, and then we headed up over to the movie place. Now, I know that means nothing to you people who don't know the area, but it is quite a walk. Then we hit Wendy's and walked the back way home. It was a long walk that took us about 2&1/2 to 3 hours (not including the stop at the library or to eat). My legs were sore but with some stretching out they felt almost new again.
Today, we had to go out to the kids' school to see what classroom they were in. Me and my big mouth jokingly said "Want to walk?". Well, the kids decided sure, so out we went again, this time kids in tow. We walked up to their school, which is probably a good 2-3 mile hike in and of itself, then out to McDonald's (another mileish) down over to Walmart to get them their backpacks and lunchboxes (another mile or two) and then back around to home (another mile or twoish). Wow! My butt hurts so bad! Of all the places on my body- it's my butt that is screaming at me. And my feet. But we stretched out again, and while not as productive this time, I shudder to think what they would feel like had I not!

And now I am doing one of my posts for the week.

So, tomorrow is the start of school. We'll see how things go with keeping me going. I think that with them being out of the house, it will help me with getting the deep down cleaning and organizing done, since I won't have the constant interruption that children bring into life (not a bad statement!!). I think I will take the day off from walking. Heck, I don't know that I will be able to walk tomorrow!! I am thinking that maybe I will go through the donation stuff we have already blown up all over the hall upstairs and get that all settled, and then go through my clothes.

That's it for today.