~A Bitter Swallow~

Sometimes I just feel so unbelievably inadequate, no matter how hard I try to change it. Everything I do just seems to get screwed up in one fashion or another. Or it's not good enough.

I'm going to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I can get a new doctor that I actually feel comfortable talking to. Think I might look into mental health, as well. Check out what all my insurance will cover.

I'm thinking about cutting my hair. It's long, and it's heavy. But, it's also a big part of me. It's one of the things people immediately recognize and associate with me. I'm not talking about going and getting a trim. No, I'm thinking a few inches. That's right. I said few. As in, multiple. Like, to my armpits. I'll call it my armpit hair. It will make me giggle. We all know all is right with the world if I'm giggling. That, or it's about to all go to hell. Take your pick.

Today, I was sitting at the table in the staff room eating my lunch, when I noticed a van very slowly and carefully easing its way into one of the parking spots in the staff parking lot. This usually makes me fume, and I find it deliciously funny when they get parked behind, and then have to wait while the staff member who parked behind them gets a chance to run and get their keys so they can move. Today, however, after the young lady got out of the driver's seat and ran to the front of the building, I noticed someone still in the van. As I was reading something rather not-the-best-while-you're-eating, my mind was prone to wandering. I leaned forward to glare at this person in our highly-coveted parking spot, and noticed a great big "STUDENT DRIVER" sign plastered on the back of the van. The person in the passenger seat was her driving instructor. Way to go, Teach. Learn em' to park where they should and very well could get ticketed!

As for that book I was reading in above-mentioned scenario, I am starting to think there is something dreadfully wrong with me and my brain, when it comes to reading material. Especially since most reading material is read either A: while I'm eating, or B: right before I go to bed. I am drawn towards the outrageous and macabre, and always get to those real "juicy" spots right when I'm taking a bite. Right now, I'm reading "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" by Mary Roach. It's, naturally, about dead bodies, and all the scientific stuff that's done to them. I just happened to be on the chapter about how, in great and food-descriptive detail, bodies decompose. It was awesome.

My big toe is driving me crazy. I think I have athlete's foot on it. It burns and hurts when I wear shoes. Just there on my poor big toe. Right up on top. I mean, I think it's there between the Big Toe and the Pointer Toe in that.. webbing there. But, that doesn't bother me so it doesn't really count. So, yeah. Just throwing that out there, because it's irritating me right now.

I just had a lady come in and get almost naggy irritated that we told her husband he could not check out books on her account because he was not an authorized user. "Well, we've always got them for the kids before...". I politely mentioned that on kid accounts, usually the parent is listed on there. For the adult cards, we can't just let any Joe off the street come in and say "I want to use So-and-So's account." Could you imagine? She finally was like.. "Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense." At least she got it. Sometimes they just go on being huffy.

My car blew up. But, then I found out just the water pump went out, and that doesn't sound nearly as fantastic and dramatic. However, it's a hell of a lot cheaper to fix. So, hopefully that happens this weekend. My best friend from California and her son are coming up next week, and I think it would be most fabulous if I did not have to have her rent a car while she's here.

Speaking of her coming up, I'm totally stoked. I don't know what all we're going to do, but I don't care. I can't wait to see her. It's been like... eleventy billion years or something close to that, since I've seen her. *Happy Dance*

Ok, I'm going to leave on the dancing note, because random sporatic dancing is just plain fun.