~A Bitter Swallow~

"Who the hell you callin' crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating Fruit Loops on your front porch"

Things have been crazy around here lately. Pretty much almost literally. That's still yet to be decided. A few Saturdays ago, while walking back down to the ferry after a day at the Pacific Science Center, my son told me that he's been hearing voices ("yes", "no", and his name) for a couple years. Over the previous two days, he'd been hearing screaming. Now, for those of you who do not know us, his paternal grandmother is a paranoid schizophrenic. So, naturally, this news was pretty disturbing. What was more scary, was the thought that it was something other than schizophrenia, because if it was, then what was it? We have more than a couple friends that have been diagnosed with brain tumors and the like, so we know the real possibility of that happening. I think this is what scared us the most.

Doctors visits were made. Trips to Kitsap Mental Health were made. An MRI was done. Blood work was done. Urine tests were done. The first urine test came back positive for opiates. This scared the crap out of my son, as he could not think of anywhere he could have been exposed to something like that. He went in for a second test, which came back clean. We have an appointment tomorrow to go over the results of all the urine, blood and the MRI. The visit with the therapist produced nothing. Not for lack of trying; There is simply nothing they can find that fits his symptoms.

I take this as positive news though. I've talked with a mom whose son produced similar symptoms, and was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder, along with food allergies that they believe caused it. I spoke with another friend who stated he had the exact same symptoms when he was about fifteen, that wound up being stress-induced, and was "cured" by some simple stress-relieving strategies. So, there are things that can cause it, that are not deadly or life-altering. Simple steps can be taken.

The therapist is going to pass his file along to their in-house ARNP to go over. She specializes in mental health and children, along with the medical aspects that can cause symptoms that resemble mental health issues. When we spoke with his regular doctor about the medical rule-out the therapist wanted, his doctor looked blankly at me and asked what kind of tests they wanted.

Blink.

Blink.

Seriously??

So, we might have to search for a new doctor as well, which is sad, since it took me so long to find one. However, if he is asking me what tests he needs to run to search for medical reasons for auditory hallucinations, perhaps he is not the one I want to trust with our physical (and mental) well-being.



Now, add to all this excitement a stroke (a friend), a miscarriage (another friend), friendships that seem to be faultering, neighbors who have become a nuisance (although they haven't been harassing us lately, so that's a relief), etc etc etc, and my own mental health has become questionable (not that it was altogether intact to begin with!).

I'm thinking I might see Manson on my porch with a cereal bowl...

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I haven't been writing. I did really well for awhile (if 3 days counts as "awhile"), then my brain exploded. Too much stuff happens too quickly. One event is followed by another is followed by another. I got a book on self-improvement. More like self-chill-out. It's a workbook. I figure I should do that.

So many things roll around my head. Then, I try to decide where it's best put down. Then I realize that one can go here, one there, one maybe nowhere. By that time, my desire to write about it has passed, because all I want to do is stop thinking about it.

I'm sick of people getting sick. Strokes, cancer, mental issues. I've had about as much as I can handle. Pretty sure I have some mental issues of my own (and that isn't a joke). More and more kids with stuff wrong with them. It hurts my heart and makes me so angry.

Anyway, I will try to be more productive in the writing department. I think for my own sanity it has become a must. It's working on being a physical need, just like me setting my treadmill back up has been.