~A Bitter Swallow~

Some parents just amaze me at their utter disregard for their children. So many people seem to view the Library as a large daycare. They bring their kids in and just let them run rampant, usually while the parent cruises around on the Internet. Meanwhile, their child starts to get bored, and cranky. Often-times it's little tike, a toddler or baby, stuck in their stroller or on the parent's lap.



Then the parent gets irritated because the child is interrupting their Internet usage. It flabbergasts me that they bring in these young kids and expect them to keep still and quiet for son long. Usually there is not even anything brought in to entertain the child.



Now, I can understand the parent that is here because they have no Internet access at home, and need to check email or apply for a job or work on a resume.. etc etc . But most of these parents I see are just browsing their MySpace pages and looking at other people.



Many of these people, stereotypically I know, seem young and rather uneducated. Not ready for having a child but with one anyways. Now, I'm saying nothing against that.. I was not ready and had one anyways. Hell, I had two. But I don't bring them out in public and expect them to act like angels when they are bored and tired. Especially when they are at an age where anything that is not selfish is not even cognitively possible for them. When I take my kids out, I try to make sure I am aware of how tired they are, or may get. How bored they will be and if I have to be out, try and find them something to do that is entertaining, even if it's letting them bring a toy or something.



Parents.. your kids come first. Even before you. Respect them. Do you enjoy being dragged into someplace where you are stuck and unable to do anything even remotely enjoyable while someone else screws around doing nonsense stuff? Think about it.

There is a house down the street from me. It is a cute little two-story thing, reminiscent of a doll-house. They have been working on it lately, giving it a new paint job of a pretty blush pink with some nice dark lavender trim. There are brightly colored flowers blooming out front, with the cozy seating area.

My daughter has always thought of this house as "the dollhouse". The other day we were driving by, and I was pointing out some of the new additions I had noticed. We had just picked her two girlfriends up and were coming back to our house. As I pointed out the house, she chimed:

" I like it lots better pink and purple. When it was blue it was scary.. like a scary haunted dollhouse, with zombie barbies..."

She then proceeded to imitate what a zombie barbie would look like. Her and her friends then went on to create a scenario of how they would act, how they would eat each other until they were all zombies and then they would be friends again.....


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Later on that same afternoon, while the kids were playing, my son and the oldest of the two sisters were downstairs co-oberating on how they would stage my son's death to scare the younger two (my daughter and the other sister). They were complete with finding the Nerf dart gun, and sticking the dart square on my son's head.. they were using a light saber to stage a stabbing... (is that what it's called when you are stabbed with a light saber?).

My daughter, the sneaky one she is, comes creeping down the stairs, complete in her pretty pink dress, white stockings and black patent baby doll shoes, armed with a long plastic sword. She motions with her finger for me not to give her away as she sneaks down the hall, and then- while my son and the oldest sister friend are still plotting how to scare the crap out of the younger two with his faked death, my daughter pounces and starts to slash him with her sword.

She even makes the "shlllish, shlllish" noises of the sword slicing through him....

It was hilarious.




*********I really need to get video set up in my house..............

Anyone recognize the name of Anna Jarvis ? If you are celebrating this day, you should remember it. Ms. Jarvis is the founder of mother's day. She gave a memorial for her own mother on May 12th, 1907, and embarked on a mission to create a day special to mothers. She chose for it to be celebrated on a Sunday so that it would be a "holy" day, and on the 2nd Sunday in May, since that was when her own mother passed. Seven years later, in 1914, her goal became nationally recognized.



Anna Jarvis soon became embittered by the holiday she had created. It did not take long for this "holiday" to become emersed in the same commercialization as many of the other holidays. What was meant to be a celebration of Mom became just another push for companies to market their wares, and the thought that in order to celebrate you had to spend spend spend became ingrained in the minds of Americans. Anna Jarvis and her sister wound up spending their inheritance on campaigning against the very holiday she had fought to so hard to create, and both died in poverty. She is quoted as saying "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit." She opposed the selling of flowers and also the use of greeting cards: "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write."

Anna Jarvis never married, and never had any children of her own.


In this respect, I wanted to take the time out of my day, and post my thoughts on mother's day. Personally.. I could care less for "bought" items. While I appreciate the thought and effort that goes into this process, I know the struggle, and the stress of trying to pick out that perfect gift in time. For me, a nice dinner with my family is all I need to have a perfect day (and I get that this year!). Coming home to a clean house so that I can just relax and not have to worry about cleaning up (my kids are in cleaning their rooms as we speak...can this day get any better??). Getting a back rub and watching my choice of TV, movie or game... (I got that this morning first thing!).


Of course though, there are always those who will not feel right without dropping some cash on mom for Mother's Day. In thanks, I thought, to help de-stress some of you, I would give a few suggestions for those who are bound and determined to buy something.

* Flowers- for those of you who want to get your mom flowers, it is a beautiful thought. However, cut bouquets die. How about letting her constantly remember your gift and thought of her throughout the year by getting her a pretty potted flower, or -even better- going over with some yard tools, pots, soil and seeds or starters, and getting down and playing in the dirt together while weeding and planting!

* Jewelry- I'm not big on jewelry. Never have been. And the jewelry I do like tends to be on the less expensive side, so I'm easy! For mother's day, stick with something motherly if you are going to go with jewelry. There are so many options out there now for mothers, from the I love mom pendants, to the mother's jewelry with the children's birthstones. And those aren't just the rings anymore! Now they come in rings, pendants, bracelets... you name it! Don't forget items like key chains too!

* Dinner- this one you just can't go wrong with. Whether you take her out, or stay in and cook for her, as long as she doesn't to cook or clean, she's gonna be happy! Just keep in mind if you do decide to go out, that waits will be long! Make sure to make reservations, or get there early to account for having to wait to be seated!

* Spa treatments- I normally don't do this, due to the cost. However, if the cost isn't an issue for you, this could be great for mom. I suggest either going with her, or buying it for her and a friend. While these places are nice, it's usually better if you have a girlfriend to gab with too!

* Candy- be careful with this one. If mom is trying to diet and watch her weight..this isn't going to be the best option for her. Even if you are trying to tell her you think she looks fine.. Candy isn't going to convince her after she's eaten the whole box! Also, be sure to watch for allergies (such as to nuts or milk). Go small and sweet. Keep in mind the kind of treats you've seen her relish in the past. If she's not crazy for creme filled chocolate, then that big box of creme filled chocolates you just bought her isn't going to come to much. Instead, why not be the one to take her out to ice cream!?

* Cards- this is nice, if you are so long distance that you cannot call or come over. However, if you send a card, make sure to drop a note in there as well! Let mom know how things are going, what you are up to, etc etc. Maybe go even a step further, and do something reminiscent, like describing one of your most treasured moments with her! Keep it sentimental (it can be funny too!) and real. Something that is more than just someone else's preprinted words on a card picked up on whim while standing at the grocery store.


In line with the ideas of being creative and specially tailored to mom, I came across the idea of "survival kits". These little kits could be created for a plethora of reasons, and were very sweet and thoughtful. Inside, you can include things like Hershey's hugs and kisses, to represent your love, band aids for hurt feelings, string because she's the one who tied everyone together, a star to represent her shining personality.. you get the picture. It takes some time to put together suitable objects and marking what they represent, but it shows the thought that went into it, and the care.


Hope this helps some of you wandering out there without any idea what to do. Happy Mother's Day to all you moms, and please please please add to my ideas here! Lets start getting what we want! hehe...

Last night after work, I went to pick up my kids from their dad's house. I had worn my heeled boots, and had had a very busy day and my feet were absolutely killing me. We were standing out on the front porch chatting while waiting for my son. My daughter kept leaning against me, and I would fall over a bit. She looked at me and told me "Mommy, you need to learn some kind of balance."

That statement kinda stuck with me. Not in the physical sense. I knew my lack of balance was due to the fact that my feet were so sore and I was tired. But in a mental sense. I have not felt balanced for a very long time. I feel like I'm off tilt... Like a globe that has been spun, but fallen off the holder, so it's warbled and distorted. My lack of balance within myself announces itself in a variety of mental and physical attributes. I have been sick allot lately. More-so than what is usual. I have consistent headaches, stomachaches, body aches. I have a hard time concentrating or remembering things. Noises of a certain caliber set all of my nerves on fire when they never bothered me before.

I've been feeling off kilter with myself. Nothing seems to fit right. I feel an awesome loss in development of pieces of myself that need to be fixed. I have a strong desire to re-embrace my spirituality- at least on a basic scale. I have the need to get outside and put my hands in the ground and dig in the dirt. Problem is- I really have no yard, and while I can do potted plants, I have a rather shadowy area to put them. I have started working around that though. I have a need to completely clean everything out. A big Spring cleaning bug. I need to completely declutter my house. Problem with that is I have no where to put anything. I suppose I should just pull everything out and sort through it. Really evaluate my reasons for keeping it and see if I should just let it go. And then if I decide to keep it, find a place for it. It's to the point where I want to just pull everything out of my house, and then slowly put it back in. If the weather was cooperating and my neighbors didn't exist, then I'd be tempted to do just that (well, and if there wasn't 2-3 flights of stairs to contend with).

The weather has been bogging me down lately too. I'm am very much a warm-weather kind of girl. I cannot bear the cold, and it is always so cold here. Spring just does not want to wake up and the Sun doesn't seem to want to give this area much attention. I feel like a forgotten child.. lol. I'm cold, and just want to curl up and wait for the weather to turn warm again. I see the blossoms on the trees, and want to go play, but can't stand the chill. And I know the Summer won't last very long once it gets here either. It's depressing. I really wish I could just pack up and move, but I can't.

Oh well... guess that is as good as I can explain my off-balanceness. That, and now I get to go get ready for work on the only day this week when it is suppose to actually be nice. Go figure.