~A Bitter Swallow~

     I've been having a hard time lately;  a hard time keeping my stress under control.   I try to not worry about things, but I think that instead of just "letting go", I am actually just internalizing everything.  I'm just hiding from it, or running from it, or just completely denying it instead of dealing with it.  However, when I try to deal with it, I realize that there really isn't any way to deal with it.  It just is what it is.  I try to accept it, but then we are back to the question of whether that is what I am actually doing or not.  

  I stress out about everything.  I honestly think it is affecting my health.  I somewhat wonder if it's causing my medical problems (more on that in an upcoming post).  I think it is probably at least contributing. 

  I know I am being very vague in this, and I am doing so purposefully.   I apologize for that, but, well, it is what it is.  

  There is something to be said for staying home sick for a day.  After today, I may just have to go expose myself to every one's sneezes and coughs more often.  Rub that crap (okay, not that crap) all over me.   In my swarmy state of mind that often accompanies me when I do not feel well, I was kicked by the writing bug.  I got 15 pages written, plus some editing done.  Now, that may not sound like much in the scheme of things.  But for me, that is phenomenal progress.  And, it alleviated a load of stress from certain areas of the storyline.  

  I've come to the conclusion that my writing bug on that story is finished for today, but with a 3-day weekend coming up, I'm hoping to at least catch that little bug again.  I can do without the feeling like poo-poo part, but if that's what it takes, then I'm willing.  Seriously.  Sneeze on me.  Thanks.