So, this has got to be one of the crappiest weekends I've ever had. I can honestly think of only one worse, and one that vies with it for second.
Dustin left to move back to Idaho this morning. He swears he's coming back (even made sure to point out that he left the KitchenAid mixer, which his mom made him swore he'd take if he ever left me. Inside joke concerning his ex-wife, but she was still serious), but deep in my heart I don't think he will. It could be just the depression and the lack of self-worth/esteem talking, but I think once he gets back "home" and has his brother and sister, his nephews, his old friends and his old job... I just don't know. I see him being happy again there, and why would (or should) he leave that?
To make matters worse, when he called the property management people to remind them about our leaking faucet and dishwasher, he was told that the old owners are coming back to town and would like to break our lease agreement. They are not going to push that, after we freaked out and told them there was no possible way I could afford to move right now. Not just us being pissed and playing hardball- I honestly CAN NOT afford to move. So, they are not going to push for a lease break, but it does mean that when the lease is up in August, they will want us to go. So I need to start looking again. I'm just so angry at that. We finally found a house that had everything we wanted: perfect size, location, fenced yard for the dog with plenty of room for a garden and a chicken coop. Thank goodness I have not gotten around to building the coop or the big compost bin. Especially since the coop would have been built into a shed that's here, so I wouldn't have been able to move it with us.
I just don't know what to do with myself. The kids are with their dad this weekend, so I'm sitting here in the quiet house (he took his dog with him), just listening to the clock tick and wondering what the hell is going to happen. I can't seem to stop the tears from leaking out of my face, and they are burning tracks into my cheeks. My eyes are so puffy and sore I can barely keep them open. I just want to vomit, then curl into the fetal position and forget the outside world for awhile.
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