~A Bitter Swallow~

I think I thought-vomited in my brain a little bit...

Thought-Vomit

My brain is constantly mumbling and muttering to itself. Sometimes it screams. Sometimes what it has to say is interesting enough to make note of, or is adamant enough that it must come out. I'll put that stuff here. :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Daddy Dearest

Lately I've noticed that I have been having quite a number of dreams of my father and his wife. This is odd for me, since I have had no contact with my father since my daughter was about 3 months old. I am not going to get into details about my history with him in this post, but I wanted to put this down on "paper" in order to capture what is going on at this time.

Most of the dreams have been arguing, and all have concerned moving. I cannot remember what most of the arguments have been about, although I think most have to do with moving. When I left my father's home in California, it was a HUGE argument between us. I think that is why every dream I have of him involves moving and fighting. His wife is always just there putting her two cents in where they are unwanted.

I also have frequent dreams about the house I lived in down there in Lancaster. Usually he is not there when I am there.. which was not abnormal in reality either. In one dream I remember coming back and the house was completely trashed. I was trying to get it cleaned up.

I am intrigued as to why these subjects have suddenly popped up so often in my dreams. What is in my subconcious that is trying to break free? Or is the universe trying to tell me something? There are so many things that have changed in my recent past that could contribute to strange and new dreaming. I just cannot figure out what specifically is bringing on thoughts of my father, and my old house.

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