~A Bitter Swallow~

I had something of an epiphany regarding me and my boundaries (or lack thereof) over this weekend.   I've noticed that it's always those I love who I allow to push my boundaries (in a not-in-a-good-growth-way). 

My roommate recently moved out.  Well, a couple months ago now.  However, due to the quick nature of the move (and the distance), much of her stuff was left at the house.  She was still paying rent, but I knew that at some point, the rent would stop.  I had developed a game plan for that side of the house that would allow me to reconfigure my own space, and allow for a massive (much needed purge).  I figured I could do this, and then turn around and get the space re-rented by the first of the year.    However, all of the "I'll come get it this weekend" kept getting waylayed.  I was accommodating because I knew she was having a difficult time with everything.  Things kept happening. 

My epiphany came when I realized that-  things keep happening to me, too.  Life is hard.  Shit happens, and it can be crazy and stressful and hard.  But, why was I letting the fact that other people were having a difficult time be a reason to continue to allow behavior and or activity that was stressful to me, that was causing me mental distress, etc..?   Why is it okay for me to continue to shoulder things that were others responsibility, just because life is happening to them, too? 



It's not just my roommate that I allowed this with, but with so many instances that I can look at within my life.  Once I voiced how much the stuff being there was stressing me out, my roommate made it a point to come get it done.  Once I set my boundaries and stuck to them, it was okay.  Most of the time people are going to understand.  Maybe they didn't realize how much it was affecting me (like in this example).  Those who don't understand-  that's okay.  I need to keep those boundaries in place and stand by them.  I suppose I'm now in a point in my life that I need to re-figure out what my boundaries are.   How to keep them firm.  It's going to be a process.   I'm prepared for that.